August 28, 2008...1:02 am

One Line Zingers…

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The restaurant rating site www.Zagat.com has a section called Outtakes that are quotes from diner’s reviews of individualrestaurants in the Los Angeles area. Each one is the “Out take of the Week.”  Here is a sampling:

  What they lack in quality, they make up for with butter.
  The waiters are trained to bang into you.
  Proof that there’s no shortage of people who want to eat bad food in historicbuildings.
  I’d love to go back – if you were paying.
  I liked the concept until I ate here.
  I actually pulled out my cell phone and called to ask them to please bringus water.
  Our wine was a year older when it finally arrived at the table.
  I was told by the waiter that I have the wrong palate.
  Like eating in an NYC subway station, only nicer.
  Besides the cockroach crawling up the wall, it was ok.
  Service exists in two modes: know it all and not at all.
  Dishwashing utensil in my gumbo tainted the meal.
  The service is like a bad high school play: warm, well-meaning and completelyinept.
  I don’t tip if I get groped.
  I thought I was looking at an oil painting when suddenly it moved –it was my waitress.
  I’m pretty sure I ate cow’s udders and liked them.
  The special occasion place for people with bad taste.
  Quail With Figs had exactly one fig. When asked for more, the waiter replied,”There’s one fig per customer! “
  The maitre d’ made us wait to be seated, apparently for no other reason thanbecause he could.
  I would rather eat sushi from a vending machine.
  Great food amid a sea of shorts and black socks.
  Even their ‘regulars’ have stopped going there.
  Foie gras does not need to be put into a mascarpone cookie.
  The waiter took my order, went outside to smoke and then waved throughthe window.
  Could someone do something about the uniforms? 1982 just called and it wantsits suspenders back.
  We could have lived without knowing that our waiter was ‘Steven from Long Beach.’
  If I wanted to be treated with distaste, I would just stay home.
  They make you walk around with a horse stick and blow a whistle. That’llteach you to tell someone it’s your birthday.
  Overpriced and undergood.
  The food may be bad, but at least the service is slow.
  It seems that the owner, the chef and I have lost interest.
  My waiter was so soft-spoken I thought he was a mime.
  Breaking bread’ should not mean you have to use the side of thetable.
  The No. 1 spot in town for crooked pharma reps to stuff fat doctors fullof $50 steaks.
  Once you drive through ax-murderer country to get here you arepleasantly surprised by all the people and the buzz. 

Oh My! Thank you Jan for this link!

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